#and he always picks up strays even though he literally can't take care of himself

[hood-ex]

New blorbo acquired!!

[teddybeartoji]

toji is a cat dad. the cat looks so fucking tiny next to him that it's a little comical actually. they spend every morning together – the cat twirls around and between his legs as he's grabbing the food, quietly meowing and purring. toji smiles softly to himself at the little thing's neediness. so cute.

the cat also just loves to follow toji around the apartment. always. he goes to the bathroom? the cat goes to the bathroom. he's cooking in the kitchen? the cat is in the kitchen. he's asleep in the bed? the cat is in the bed. (big man toji stomping around the house with the smallest cat in the world running after him.......... guys i'm melting i'm dying)

ok but he was a little weirded out by the cat's need to be in the bathroom with him lmao. like he's taking a piss and he looks over his shoulder only to find the little kitten just staring up at him with big eyes😭😭😭 toji grumbles under his breath and tries to ignore him but then he ends up looking over his shoulder again, hoping that he left but no. he's still there. sitting like :3 😭😭😭😭

"yer fuckin' weird..." is what toji tells him as he places the cat on the bathroom counter and he just gets a cute meow back as a reply. the cat watches him brush his teeth and toji has to fight the thing because he's now in the sink????? toji needs to spit out the toothpaste but the critter is getting comfortable in the bowl and he actually feels bad abt pushing him away... wahh he's so soft actually guys i can't do this anymore.

if the cat happens to be a big meower, toji's definitely talking back to him. he literally goes "what're ya yappin' about, lil man? 🤨🤨" while looking at the tiny creature. but he loves it, he thinks it's so funny. he picks the little guy up and just stares at him up close O.O (plss the cat is literally like the size of his palm i'm dying it's so cute).

he also likes to carry the cat on his shoulder. i think every cat would actually love toji so much, this is also canon here you cannot argue with me. and i think they'd all find him very comforting? and i think they'd love to sleep on him. so whenever he's cooking and the cat paws at his legs, he just picks him up and places him on his shoulder.

he once did that when shiu was over and he was just ????????? like man what are you doing put the damn cat down ????????? and toji just went. "no. he wants to see." with a blank face. to him it's very obvious. c'mon, the cat is so little, he has no idea what's happening up here, ofc he wants to see??????? smh shiu do better😒😒😒

oh and this was definitely just a stray cat he took in btw. after a long day at work, he was just walking home with a cig between his lips when he heard the teeeniest tiniest little meow coming from behind the dumpster in an alley. and well... the curiosity got the best of him and he went to check it out aaand lo and behold!!!!!!! itty bitty kitty!!!!

big eyes peering up at him behind a thrash bag, he just knew he couldn't leave the poor thing there. he reached out his hand, letting the kitty smell him and he almost dropped his cig when he actually leaned into his touch immediately!!!! that's his baby now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he held the cat to his chest as he made his way home and he even stopped by a little corner store to buy him something to eat. the cashier did look at him with a raised brow bc what the fuck this massive man is holding the smallest cat in the world, but toji didn't mind. he didn't care. the cat slept on his back that very same night.

ALSO. thank u @kentophilia for putting this idea in my head ily<33 during the late hours of the day, toji lays in bed while reading his book with his glasses on – the cat stands on his chest with a determined face. he's already purring even though toji hasn't even done anything. he's just soo comforting and the cat just loves him soooo much okay:((((( toji lowers his book to look at the thing before scratching the top of his head and smiling to himself when the cat closes his eyes and purrs even louder.

the cat ends up trying to make biscuits on him and that makes toji yelp lmao. the tiny little claws dig into his warm skin as the he kneads toji like he's a piece of dough. purring and content – toji doesn't have it in him to make him stop either. it's not like it actually hurts, he was just caught off-guard. he didn't get scared by a cat btw, he didn't. in the end, he keeps reading his book with his one hand while petting the creature with the other. this is their routine. they're family!!!!!!!

anyway. he loves his little kitty cat with all his heart and he would literally kill for him:33333

[stxrrgirlz]

Can you please do Stray kids Lee know as your boyfriend

Leeknow x fem!reader

Tysm for the request I literally can’t stop thinking abt it he’s just the best bf omgomg <333😵‍💫

Leeknow might not open up at first when you start dating, but when you do? He’s the cutest!

FLUFF

He will try to visit you as much as possible with his busy schedule, and if he can visit you, he will FaceTime you. He’s the type of guy to fall asleep on the phone with you, and he always falls asleep first, even though he tries to stay up to see you drift off first.

Whenever you two are together, he will want to take you shopping or just out in general to spend time with you. Expect a lot of food when you guys go out; he’d love eating with you.

He’s going to rest his head on your shoulder whenever possible; I definitely feel like he’ll cuddle into your body and wrap his hands around your waist while you sit and scroll on your phone.

He’s not into PDA much, but he will hold hands with you and stay close to you at all times, no matter where you are! He doesn’t care if you're in the changing room trying on clothes; he’s right outside the door!

He goes all out on your birthday and holidays, and he doesn’t expect much in return. You could give him one thoughtful present, and he’s practically overheating you with how tightly he’s hugging you.

He will bring you to the studio some time so you two could talk and hang out while he’s working. Even if he can't talk much when he’s practicing or recording, he’s just happy to have you around.

When he introduces you to the rest of the group? You know you’ve made it. The rest of the group accepts you pretty quickly and thinks your relationship with Leeknow is the cutest. They have considered stalking you two on a date before but decided against it.)

He doesn’t use pet names like “doll” and prefers more basic ones, like baby or even just your name; nicknames are also a regular exchange between you two.

SMUT

This man is the best in bed. Though he might not have much experience before you, he’s a quick learner and is good at adapting to what you like and your likes. He has your body memorized like the back of his hand and knows exactly where your G-spot is.

He’s a decent 6.5 inches, and his girth is lethal. This makes it kind of hard for you to give him a head, but he’s definitely more of a giver than a receiver anyway.

Like I said before, he's more of a giver than a receiver. Your pleasure over his always, and he just loves seeing you moan and writhe under him, and he sucks and licks are your puffy clit.

He will prep you 1000 times just to make sure his girth won't hurt you when he slides in. He starts slow and loves slow and sensual sex, but if you tell him to speed up, he most definitely will obey.

Claw at his back; he DOES like it. He likes the fact that you left your mark on him and also reassures him that hes doing a good job when your hands are holding on tightly to his back, forming crescent shapes with your nails.

He has really good taming but will stop after the first round because he knows how annoying your orgasmas can be, but if you tell him to keep going, he definitely will! Anything to please his sweet gf<3

He’s so good at aftercare and will take care of you so well, running you a warm bubble bath and picking your fucked-out body up gently and washing you before dressing you himself and lying down to cuddle you.

Best boyfriend ever, he does no wrong<333

[sillygeeseys]

How I think Creepypastas would react to finding a stray child:

((My first official HC post!! Please feel free to go in my ask box if you'd like more!!))

Pastas featured: Jeff, Toby, Masky, Hoodie, LJ, EJ, Liu, and Slender

Tw: Death, canon typical violence, this is NOT going to be fluffy in most places

Jeff:

-He's so uncomfortable at first, especially if it's CRYING.

-His older brother instincts eventually kick in, he uses a voice he almost forgot he ever had, and hums a tune he hardly remembered knowing

-He wouldn't keep it for long, he can't, his lifestyle is far too dangerous for a child. (And so is he)

-In fact, he'd probably kill it. Claiming it's an act of mercy, it wouldn't survive long anyways after he abandoned it.

Toby:

-They FIRST thing he asks is if he can take it home with him.

-He'd be terrified to pick it up/touch it, especially with his tics, he wouldn't want to drop a kid.

-He sees so much of himself in that child, he begs to not abandon it all alone

-He's still a child himself, so he wouldn't make the best parenting decisions if Slender miraculously allowed it

-If Slender said no, he'd take the kid somewhere safe, probably the police or an orphanage, or somewhere the kid would have to be legally cared for by SOMEONE.

-He's probably so playful when he crosses the hurdle of his fear around potentially hurting the kid, always connected at the hip.

Masky:

-He's the most collected out of everyone, he's been at this for many years so this is probably not his first or last kid incident.

-He uses nicknames like 'champ', and 'buddy', and settles them down

-Younger kids seem particularly drawn to him, he has no clue why, even if someone else brought the little missed period cycle home, they somehow always end up passed out on Masky while he carries them around the manor so they stay napping

-He would've absolutely been a father if the proxy life hadn't chosen him, but he'd never tell a soul that.

-Slender usually sends his kids away to human families, or something awful happens, and Masky loses them somehow. It kills him a little.

Hoodie:

-They honestly don't notice the kid at first until they spot something wriggling around in the background of their camera footage

-Kid has to approach THEM

-They do everything to try shaking the kid off at first before eventually accepting the situation

-They stop for McDonald's on the way back to the manor, while calling Slender to explain what's going on

-They're just as scared as the kid is, in fact they probably stress eachother out the longer they're together

LJ:

-Eats them.

-Eats them, and tosses the bones to smile dog.

-Is probably the 'awful things' that keeps happening to all the kids Masky tries to raise.

EJ:

-Is probably 'awful things' #2.

-He doesn't eat them though, kidneys are still way too little, and he doesn't like how squishy they are at that age, way too sweet too.

-But he'd certainly attack/fatally wound a kid if they approached him in a way that startled him

-He usually blames LJ though because he feels way too awful for anyone to know it was him

Liu:

-He's so so gentle, and patient

-He remembers being that terrified, he remembers being that child that needed someone when they were at their most alone.

-He probably wraps them in his trench coat, he keeps them in his bedroom where they're safe from the riff raff of the manor (JEFF)

-He hums that tune Jeff used to hum to him when they were little

-He eventually has to give them up, he stalks many families for weeks until he finds the perfect one. He still keeps tabs on some of the kids he's rehomed.

-They're probably scared of his stitches/scars/overall facial deformity from Jeff's attack, and it breaks his heart

Slender:

-Literally all the Creepypastas are stray kids to him. (He sees them more as 'pets' but that's for another HC)

-He keeps tabs on the kid, if it dies then its too 'weak' for his standards, if it survives he'll monitor it's life until he can yoink the little bastard, and stamp it with a proxy mark.

-He's sick of his proxies getting attached, and bringing them home. He keeps having to remove kids from Masky's care because Slenders worried it'll affect his work ethic negatively.

-He's probably the reason this kid is all alone anyways, and he's way too exhausted to care. If he picked up every kid he found in the woods with bones sticking out, he'd basically be running a daycare for anyone ages 3-45.

[ibrokeeverything]

I have major Encanto brainrot, so here's some headcanons:

Dolores struggles with sensory overload. Especially when she first got her gift, it was often just too much, having to listen to every sound for miles. Pepa would come and sit with her, with a raincloud, to provide some white noise and help drown out the sound.

After a little while Dolores's room changes to become soundproof, giving her a reprieve from the constant barrage of noise.

Sometimes people will go days without seeing Camilo's true form. But they always know he's around whenever they enounter someone acting off, or see two of the same person at the same time.

When the Casita is rebuilt, Bruno's room is no longer at the top of a tower. The stairs were exhausting, which tired him out and discouraged people from coming to see him. It was isolating, so they make sure his new room is much more visitor friendly.

Isabela is gay. That is all. (Just kidding) As she discovers more of herself, no longer confined to being the perfect child, she realizes that she wasn't just not interested in Mariano, but it's because she's attracted to girls. Mirabel and Luisa are literally the most supportive sisters, even if Mirabel likes to tease her about her taste in women.

Mirabel and Bruno make a habit of spending time together, just the two of them. As the former outcasts and misfits of the family, they share a camaraderie that's unique to them. The rest of the family are much more understanding now, but these two still share a special bond. Also they're Aro/Ace solidarity.

Camilo and Bruno are also very close, bonding over a passion for acting. It's silly and fun and gives them both a way to relax and let loose. They definitely have a flair for the dramatic and have been known to startle the rest of the family by suddenly acting out dramas and tragedies. Dolores has run over in a panic, thinking one of them died, at least three or four times.

Even though she's comes around to love and accept Isabela for who she is, Alma gets annoyed at the sheer number of dangerous plants Isabela places around the Casita. Cactuses and carnivorus plants don't exactly make for the safest decor. Isabela compromises by putting them out of reach, up on shelves or dangling from the ceiling.

Julieta was actually a terrible cook when she was younger. She didn't use her gift much as a kid, since cooking isn't exactly a common kid's hobby. But when she started cooking more often, she had to study and learn a lot. Burnt, undercooked, and under or overseasoned food was super common. Now, she's the best cook in the family, but it was a process.

Isabela finds a love for fashion design when remaking her dress. She works with Mirabel, who does all the embroidery, to make new clothes for anyone who wants a fresh look.

Antonio brings home stray animals constantly. To the point where the Casita has to keep expanding his room to make more room. As he gets older, he starts up a rescue of sorts, taking in animals that people can't take care of and adopting them out to anyone looking for a pet.

Since Camilo only takes the shape of a person he's shifting into, he doesn't get access to the families gifts. Dolores has taken a liking to asking him to use their gifts whenever she knows it's him and watching him scramble to try and cover for himself. Ex. Asking him to pick up obnoxiously heavy things as Louisa or asking what animals are saying when he's Antonio. It's her new favorite pastime.

[mihorapendeja]

happier than ever | tsukishima x you

the one shot in which tsukishima basically falls for a female version of everyone's favorite sunny tangerine.

genre: fluff/soft core smut lmao i haven't done this in years i feel silly but here you go

pairing(s): kei tsukishima x you (referred to as "ria kihira" in part 1 bc this was originally going to be an OC thing but nvm a/n's: show this some love and interaction pls.

PART 1: THE PAST

❝Again?❞ Even though Tsukishima complained again, this time he made it easier for her as he even stood completely still. Such a good boy.

❝Let her beat your face!❞ Shoyo exclaimed as she smiled in delight, then moving on to pat the powder puff on his stupid face. Of course she only took a few seconds for him, but all the time in the world for Hinata.

While the two chirped about the new reboot trailer for Dexter, Kuroo's sleazy self slid beside his lanky child with an extra smug look on his face. That man was a menace.

❝Say, don't you think they look related?❞

Tsukishima was a difficult man to catch off guard, but right then and there, a mini existential crisis kicked in. His eyes darted back and forth between Shoyo and Ria Kihira, the makeup artist on set for the commercial filming day.

Kei knew Kuroo was a slut for all the pretty things in life — he constantly had a trope of hot women surrounding him.

But this time, he'd really outdone himself.

Not a stupid man entirely, a huge shit-eating grin formed on Tetsuro's face. He followed Kei's eyes who desperately wandered back and forth their matching hair, skin tone, lack of height... "please let it be a mere coincidence because it's bad enough that—" Kei shut his own intrusive mind from further thinking as he slapped his hand over Kuroo's mouth shut. Tight.

That hyena laugh was not being unleashed today.

THE STORY OF HOW YOU MET:

ca. 2019, on set of a commercial for one of Kuroo's production companies. After Tetsuro had defeated Kei in a game of beer pong, he had to comply with the loser's bet -- be part of the damn commercial along with Shoyo, for a viewership boost. So he said. Ria was the makeup artist on set that day, and it pretty much went from Tsuki acting like a feral cat who didn't want to be touched by any makeup tools, to blissfully passing out in a chair while she gently stroked his face with a soft powder brush.

Near the end of the day when he'd no longer back away from her with animosity, it was Kuroo's stupidly astute observation that left him rattled. The boy was put into a choke hold because he refused to like someone with the same orange hair and milky skin tone as Hinata. Someone equally bright, bubbly, and stupid ... yeah that refusal didn't last long. Ria spoke her mind so freely, being direct but never pleading because she respected herself in that regard. He liked that and before Kei knew it, he found himself admitting to her that he was, "actually quite fond of you." She understood it was his way of saying those pesky 3 words, 8 letters.

PART 2: THE PRESENT, 3 YEARS LATER.

THE ALARM CLOCK rang it’s deathly siren like tone, nearly sending you into cardiac arrest. Although he defensively stretched an arm out over your chest as if ready to protect, Kei did not get up.

Of course he wouldn't.

Like every morning at 4am, it was you who suffered the most when getting out of bed to grab the phone to silence that torture down. As you had deeply sighed and turned to face the bed, Tssuki was now face up with the covers all the way up to his nose.

Even in your groggy state, you could tell he was smirking. That smug bastard stared at you intently, dead still. While Kei typically minded his own business and was at times thought of as quiet, the boy was definitely not shy. You wouldn't call him a total flirt, but he could so hold onto a gaze without so little as batting a long eyelash.

Kei was, extremely competitive. Lightning would have to strike his literal eyes to keep them from staring at you, specifically at your curvy thighs.

The way your soft cotton shorts rode up them was always a very pleasant sight, so he just kept staring, happily.

He loved that little penguin walk you busted into every morning when shutting the alarm off.

It’s like you couldn’t balance properly, and he swore that you were always shorter looking in the early hours of the day. He didn’t know how you could lack more height than you already did at barely 5 feet 2, but it always seemed that way.

It was especially cute, like he could just grab you and keep you in the palm of his hand.

Tired, you sat back down on the bed. You scooted until meeting the headboard, and then just let her head dip back.

It was so incredibly peaceful until you could no longer ignore his obvious glaring. “If you’re awake already, why don’t you get up?”

“It’s barely 4:05,

we don’t go in till 5am.”

He said so factually that you just deeply exhaled. Tssuki was definitely not a morning person, and neither were you.

Even though you were much more energetic, it was a Friday and you could not wait for the end of the workday already.

While Tssuki could be late to practice because let's be honest, few would even confront him, you could not pull off the same irresponsibility.

You cared way too much, and in general, hated the feeling of being late to anything. "Come on." You murmured, nudging Kei as he completely ignored you and kept on sleeping.

You waited for another minute before climbing out of bed, grabbing his attention once again. This time, your black shorts were scrunched further up. So far up that your ample ass cheeks were out in all their glory.

“Arigato, thank you god.”

Nishinoya would say.

“Well I’m not as naturally good looking as you so I’m gonna go shower and start getting ready.”

You huffed, truly riling Kei up inside. Hearing you say that genuinely made something inside of his stomach stir, so he instinctively reached out towards your wrist.

Even in the dark room, he could see your face clearly and tell you weren’t joking. "The fuck is wrong with her?" He thought, not angry, but extremely concerned because you weren't fishing for a compliment.

The two of you had been together for over 3 years now, and so he more than knew that you were not that kind of girl.

Yes, you lacked height at 5’2, but you were physically strong. Literally, you could carry all the grocery bags in one go with no issues. Lifting abilities? Check.

Even though Tssuki cruelly chose the apartment with extra high kitchen shelves, you would never ask for help to reach for stuff. "Help I can't reach" was not a phrase that existed in your world.

Literally, he’d sometimes walk in for some juice and find you on top of a chair reaching for something, if not on the literal counter tops to store items.

Independent? Check.

Resourceful? Check.

On top of all that, you had a voluptuous body he thought was fucking scrumptious. He understood that the norms for women in Japan could be vicious, especially if you weren’t a slender door like he was, but despite your insecurities, you still wore it all so well. You didn’t let it stop you from wearing whatever you wanted (as you should).

At times he did think you were a little bit stupid for fretting over such body image issues, but Tssuki was okay with that.

He didn’t want a know it all like himself, that be beyond insufferable.

Before he knew it, you were teaching him a thing or two as well. So Tssuki then knew you were not a vapid pick me girl, and that was honestly a pretty big turn on for him.

SPEAKING OF TURN ons, Kei found it incredibly hot to have you pinned beneath him, like you currently were.

It wasn’t an ingenue kink, to have you below him so submissively and weak, no. It was the way you fought to assert yourself, and the way you writhed. The way you tried to break free was no half assed attempt either.

Sometimes you'd even throw in a few knees into it, and Tssuki didn't mind it one bit. Two dominate personalities, things were always bound to be feisty in bed.

This time however, he sensed some a defeat in your soul.

Convinced to rekindle your spirits, his brows furrowed as he lowered himself closer to your pretty face.

“Take that back.” Tssuki growled in a low, oh so sexy deepened morning voice.

“I can’t, It’s true.” You protested, sighing as he pulled himself away only to then wrap his arms around your waist and throw you over his shoulders.

Misreading the situation, you first protested before breaking into full on laughter as he stormed into the shower with you still dangling, kicking your short legs in the air.

You had thought this was playful Tssuki, the version no one was too familiar with.

Except you … and Yamaguchi. You and Yams lived to exchange Tssuki-isms.

You were mistaken when trying to approach him as he had stripped entirely. God, you so badly wanted to touch his defined chest and close the space between —and that’s when your favorite salt mine smirked as he instinctively reached back to swivel the shower handle on.

Grabbing the detachable shower heard, Tssuki sprayed you down.

"That son of a bitch." You thought, having jumped back in shock, literally. The water was so fucking cold.

Tssuki raised a brow, testing you. On one hand, he thought you looked like a helpless kitten that was abandoned on some random parking lot on a rainy day.

He was an asshole, but if he ever came across a lonely stray cat, he'd so scoop it up and take home for some warm milk.

On the other hand, he thought you looked even more hot with the way your baggy shirt now clung onto every part of your curvaceous body.

Tssuki had to exhale as he saw your nipples peaking through your smaller but perfect chest. He just wanted to cup your perky tits, squeeze them and hear you moan in delight—your hot breath on his ear as you rested a side of your face on his.

“Can’t touch me till you take that back.”

He warned as you tried to take a step forward.

“Tssu— you whined, sighing as you crossed your arms, cold.

“Admit it, you’re beautiful. Say it.” He insisted as you tossed your head back. "I’m beautiful … kinda, I mean” you trailed off, too distracted by your own cruel thoughts to notice when he raised the shower head again to spray you down.

“Ouch!” You gasped this time, burned by the super hot water. Tssuki turned, realizing that instead of increasing the water’s pressure, he had turned it to the hot side.

Steaming hot.

He rubbed them back of his neck, sheepishly trying to play off. That stupidly cool bathroom is literally what had sold him into choosing that apartment.

After a long day of training, having a large bathtub to soak in, or large walk in shower that doubled as a sauna to rest in was a treat. Not only that, but curative. You swore that this man's epsom salt baths were the reason his long limbs were always good to go, pain free.

Tssuki rushed to place the shower head back on, pushing a few buttons on the digital control panel to get some therapeutic steam going.

On a good morning, he'd already have you pinned to the wall. Your face buried into his neck as Tssuki spread your ass apart, drilling his every inch into you.

But sadly, this wasn't a good morning ... yet. When you waved a hand out in defeat, eyes swelling with tears, Kei grabbed you right before you could step away.

You slammed into his chest with a light thump as he then grabbed your shoulders to keep you balanced. "My clumsy pumpkin." He thought as you raised your head to meet his warm eyes.

Tssuki lowered his face, gently planting a kiss on your forehead. Pulling away, he grabbed your arm & extended it out as he begin to plant a trail of kisses over the burned-pink area. His kisses deepened the closer he got to your neck, stopping only when at your jawline.

Now, the two of you were staring directly at each other, his eyes radiating all the comfort you wanted to see: love, adoration, lust. It was so quiet, but your heartbeat was so damn loud.

His actions were doing all the talking. Now completely soaked, you looked down at the hem of your shirt as Tssuki grabbed both ends and begin to lift the blouse up and away from you.

Left in nothing but shorts, he kept his eyes locked on you as you nodded while he lowered himself to help you out of them.

Now, completely naked, he just stared at you in awe.

You were his goddess, and he was going to happily worship, service, respect, love.

ARIGATO GOD.

“I don’t know why you hesitate” he softly whispered as you took in a deep breath, suddenly feeling overly emotional. Near tears kind of overwhelmed.

To keep yourself from actually sobbing, you cleared your throat to speak up, “I love my job, but I guess sometimes working with so many beautiful models, I can’t help but to compare my—

Tssuki had heard enough about your delusions. His hands flew the sides of your face, pulling you in for a deep kiss. You felt such a thrill surging through your body as he so easily hoisted you up.

It was your favorite thing in the world, to wrap your legs around his long torso, and it was Tssuki’s favorite thing to dig his hands into your firm ass, your soft thighs.

Pulling away, he takes slow steps forward so your back gently meets the wall. With one hand, he caressed your face , thumb gliding over your cheek before connecting his forehead with yours.

“As I was saying, - I don’t know why you hesitate to say it, but I think you’re the most beautiful person in this whole goddamn world.”

A pesky tear escaped onto your cheek, and Tssuki blotted it away with a kiss, burying his face closer to yours. So close your noses are now touching.

When he wanted to, Tssuki could be so completely soft.

“You don’t know every single person in this world.”

You laughed, still touched by his bold declaration.

“I mean it. Waking up to you every morning I think wow, I’m so lucky.”

He admits as you then break into another chuckle. “You’re so full of shit, that’s not the first thing you think of.”

Tssuki pulls on your lower lip down with his thumb, chuckling back. “You idiot sandwich I didn’t say it was the first thing, but it’s a close second.”

You find yourself laughing out loud, his frisky smile fully plastered on his face as your nose scrunches in that way he finds so fucking adorable.

“Begone negativity.” He both teases and shudders at the thought of how Suga burned that in the back of his mind.

“Do I have to sing that stupid One Direction song to you?” Tssuki then jokingly added as your eyes widened.

“You wouldn’t!”

“You’re right that’s disgusting.” He scoffed, hoisting you further up as he took your breath away with another kiss, this time, his hands running through your hair.

It was always a mystery with him, never knowing if he was going to pull on your hair, or caress it.

This time however, as his tongue slipped into your mouth, eager, you couldn’t help but to squeal. You had to give it to him, the man was great at multitasking. While he deepened the kiss, Tssuki tapped the melody of that dumb song on your thighs as if drumming.

"You're insecure, don't know what for, you're turning heads when you walk through the door / don't need makeup to cover up, being the way that you are is enough --

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh, oh, you don't know you're beautiful."

Tssuki had really taken SMACK MY ASS LIKE A DRUM to a whole other level, and you couldn't even be mad about it.

"Having fun, ya happy doing that?" You teased as he now gave himself a quick rub, fully erect. Your man was so well endowed and that was both exciting and terrifying at times. While you loved dominant Tssuki, today he was a bit more mellow and less gimp man.

"Fuck, Kei-" You moaned as he slowly entered you, rubbing your clit with his thumb, the pressure just right. "I'm definitely having fun, in fact" he smirked as you moved down to slam yourself further into him, begging for more, "I'm happier than ever."

[goldencuffs]

I'M HORRIBLE AT PROMPTS. laurent trying to do something really nice for damen&it kind of goes to hell but damen loves him so much&can't quit loving on him for it all? or laurent goes to some university&everyone thinks he's gorgeous but he's kind of a bitch&when he tells them he has a boyfriend everyone is like yeah right then damen comes to pick him up, looking hotter than anyone has any right to be&laurent melts with him? i'll read literally anything you write, it could be a n y t h i n g

@marrieddorkss​ im so so so sorry this took so fucking long lmao my god. im a mess. hopefully you still like it?? and it isnt such a fucking disaster lol?? 

Summary: Laurent decides to do something nice for Damen – and then immediately regrets it.

When Laurent comes back from his last class of the day, it’s to find Damen standing outside his dorm room, wearing a nice, oversized tank top and fraying shorts. The duffle bag by his feet is packed full; Laurent can see the sides of it are lumpy.

 “Hey.” Damen’s smile is pleasant. It transforms his face and makes him look younger, despite the stubble growing across his face.

 Laurent smiles too. “Hello,” he says, and when he’s close enough, he rests his hands on Damen’s hips and goes on his tiptoes to kiss his nose.

 Damen’s smile widens, the creases by his eyes deepening. He scans Laurent’s face intently. “I’m guessing that your presentation went well?”

“It went well,” Laurent says. He pauses. “Actually, it went very well. I managed to answer every single question at the end.”

 Damen wraps his arms around Laurent’s shoulders in a tight squeeze. “Fuck yeah!” He cheers. His enthusiasm is genuine, and it makes Laurent’s face heat.

 “It’s not that big of a deal – I’m sure there are other people who did way better.”

 “Stop that,” says Damen. He kisses Laurent’s forehead. “You killed it; I know you did.”

 Laurent doesn’t answer. He just tips his head up in a silent request. Damen’s smile softens around the edges, and then he leans down to kiss Laurent fully on his mouth.

 The kiss heats up quickly, as usual. Damen licks inside his mouth with vigour, his hand moving down Laurent’s back to grip his ass. Laurent moans into it, tugging on the front of Damen’s shirt to pull him closer.

 Damen’s cock is already hard; it presses up against the inside of Laurent’s thigh in a slow, teasing drag. Laurent shifts his own hips forward, his body tight with anticipation.

 A door slams shut at the end of the corridor and Damen detaches himself from Laurent in a measured pace, realising at the same moment Laurent does, that they’re in a very open, public setting.

 “Come inside,” Laurent tells him.

 Damen squeezes his ass again. “Here?” His smirk is sharp and arrogant.

 Laurent hates how much he likes it.

 He doesn’t let Damen know that though; instead, he rolls his eyes and drags Damen inside to his dorm room. It’s far from its usual pristine condition; Laurent hasn’t made his bed in a week, his dirty clothes are in a pile by the door and his desk is overflowing with papers, textbooks and plastic wrappers from food he’s bought lately.

 Laurent grimaces at the mess. Damen doesn’t seem to mind, or even acknowledge it; he flings himself onto the single bed with as much ease as he can, hauling his duffle bag up with him.

 “What’s in there?” Laurent asks.

 The duffle bag is an expensive, leather one. For years, it had sat alone and dusty in the Revere’s garage, until Laurent had gifted it to Damen over the summer. Now, it’s used constantly; Damen takes it with him to classes and football practice and is rarely seen without it. He takes good care of it too: he diligently cleans it once a week and keeps it stored in his closet, away from sunlight.

 Damen waggles his eyebrows in response to Laurent’s question. He sits up again and opens it with an exaggerated amount of fanfare, slowly inching the zipper in small tugs.

 It’s amusing; it shouldn’t be, but almost everything Damen does makes Laurent laugh. He likes that.

 Inside the lining of the bag, the tag is visible. It used to simply read ‘Revere’, but someone – probably Nikandros – has added, with marker, an apostrophe and the word ‘bitch’, so the entire thing says: ‘Revere’s bitch’.

 Laurent also likes that.

 Laurent doesn’t focus too long on the tag. The contents of the bag are much more appealing: there’s an assortment of treats packed haphazardly inside. Laurent can see chip packets, chocolate, tubs of ice cream and a four pack of Krispy Kreme donuts.

 Laurent taps the lid of one of the ice cream containers; it’s sea salt, his favourite. “Did you rob a grocery store? Is this your first step into the tantalising world of crime?”

 Damen’s shrug is uncharacteristically shy. His fingers are still toying with the zipper, but he still manages to look Laurent in the eye as he says, “They’re for you. I figured – depending on how your presentation goes – they’d either be celebratory snacks or conciliatory ones.”

 Laurent smiles. There’s a sudden, pressing warmth in his chest. “Really,” he says, touched.

 Damen is still shy; it’s a strange yet endearing look on him.

 Laurent’s smile doesn’t waver. He pushes the duffle bag a little, so it ends up against the wall, rather than between them. He crosses the now empty space, shifting closer to Damen until Laurent manages to straddle his lap, knees digging into the hard mattress below.

 He presses a soft kiss to the corner of Damen’s mouth. He keeps his mouth there, against the stubble across Damen’s jaw, and says: “Thank you. I love how thoughtful you are.”

 Damen swallows, eyes darkening. His hands rest on Laurent’s hips. His touch is deceptively light.

 This time, Laurent initiates the kiss. He keeps it slow, the way he favours, and Damen lets him. His hands begin to wander over Laurent’s body; even when they’re not fucking, Laurent has come to learn that Damen likes to touch him constantly.

 When Damen’s hands settle on Laurent’s ass once more, Laurent shifts his hips a little. Damen’s other hand drops to cup Laurent’s ass cheek.

 Laurent’s gasp is a quiet sound; most of it is swallowed by Damen’s mouth.

 They begin a slow, steady rut. It reminds Laurent of the first time they did this, a few months ago in a secluded booth in Route, the small club down the road from their campus.

 Laurent didn’t know Damen too well at the time, but he was always petering around the Student Life office, where Laurent had been volunteering on and off throughout the semester. He wasn’t sure what Damen did there: sometimes he volunteered to help with administrative tasks, but mostly, from what Laurent saw, Damen seemed to just want to hang around him.

 They formed a tentative, shallow relationship that consisted of very poor flirting on Laurent’s part and a lot of unprecedented confidence on Damen’s.

 It was obvious to everyone how much Damen wanted to fuck Laurent; he always looked half crazed every time Laurent so much as looked at him. Laurent found that he didn’t exactly mind it; Damen was attractive, receiving his attention was heady, and it wasn’t as though Laurent was swimming in proposals.

 So, when Damen had asked him to hang out at Route with him on a Saturday night, Laurent had said yes, fully expecting the outcome of the evening.

 Still, Damen had seemed surprised when, after two drinks, Laurent climbed into his lap. Their first kiss had been relatively innocent: just a short, chaste peck. Then Laurent, spurred on by the alcohol, deepened it. Damen responded eagerly, pulling closer Laurent and licking into his mouth with a shocking amount of indecency.

 After a while, he’d pulled back. His eyes had been so dark, and he’d gazed at Laurent with awe.

 Laurent had said: “If you’re going to keep looking at me like that, you might as well just fuck me here.”

 Damen had inhaled sharply; even with all the noise around them, Laurent still managed to hear it.

 Twenty minutes later, Laurent had been pressed down into his mattress as Damen licked him open for his cock.

 As he’d pushed into him for the first time, Damen panted into his ear, “Fuck, I don’t usually do this on a first date.”

 Laurent had laughed.

 Afterwards, Laurent had thought he wouldn’t see much of Damen anymore. He knew how one night stands worked. He suspected that now that Damen had been inside him – more than once, actually – he would stop loitering around the Student Life office.

 That didn’t happen. Instead, Damen seemed more persistent to hang around Laurent. Laurent let it happen. By this point, he’d grown fond of Damen, the way someone might feel fond over a stray puppy that constantly showed up at their door.

 Besides, as the weeks wore on, Laurent discovered that as well as being extremely sexually compatible, Damen and he were also compatible outside of bed; they became fast friends, much to the bemusement of everyone else.

 It’s amazing how far they’ve come, Laurent thinks. He doesn’t think he’s been so comfortable with anyone in his entire life.

 Now, in the silence of his bedroom, Damen’s lips drag across Laurent’s neck. Laurent shivers, fingers running over Damen’s shoulders. He’s careful as he tugs off Damen’s shirt. Damen’s chest is marvellous – it’s all sculpted pecs and hard planes. There’s a tattoo of a lion roaring on his right pec. It’s the most obnoxious thing Laurent has ever seen, and the first time Laurent had seen it, he’d licked it. He might’ve felt stupid about it at the time, but that feeling quickly evaporated when Damen’s hips stuttered, and he’d spilled his release inside Laurent.

 Once Damen’s shirt comes off, the need to get naked becomes a priority for both of them. Damen rolls Laurent onto his back after Laurent takes off his own shirt, mouthing over his collarbone, his nipples, his bellybutton, and then his hipbone.

 Laurent is quick to unbuckle his belt when Damen kisses the waistband of his jeans.

 Damen is always meticulous in preparing him. It doesn’t matter if it’s been five minutes or five days since they last fucked, Damen never rushes. Laurent’s given up on trying to coax him to be faster.

 Laurent’s knee jerks a little when Damen’s fingers, covered in cold lube, circle around his rim in sure strokes. Damen kisses the inside of his thigh, then the crease of his groin as Laurent pants. When his finger breaches Laurent, Laurent turns his head into the pillow, moaning against the silk fabric.

 “Please,” he says quietly, and Damen groans, long and loud. He likes it when Laurent begs, a fact that makes Laurent flush.

 Damen continues fingering him. The sounds are disgusting, wet and sloppy. Laurent doesn’t understand why he likes it so much.

 Finally, finally, Damen pulls away. Laurent’s fingers twist the bedsheets in anticipation. He knows he’s flushed all over; he can feel the colour vining across the bridge of his nose and down his chest.

 Damen’s cockhead drags down his crease. It makes Laurent delirious.

 “Yeah?” says Damen. His hand grips the base of his cock and his eyes are fixed on Laurent, like he can’t bear to look away.  Laurent knows the feeling; Damen looks so good like this.

 “Yes,” says Laurent, in Veretian.

 That makes Damen groan again. He only gets louder as he pushes into Laurent. Laurent’s eyes go cross eyed at the initial stretch. He loves this: the initial pain of Damen’s cock entering him.

 “God, Laurent.” Damen grunts as he starts thrusting, biting down on the column of Laurent’s neck.

 “Yeah, fuck me,” Laurent says. His hands slide down Damen’s sweaty back. “Harder – please, I need it.”

 “Fuck,” Damen gasps as he complies. He lifts his head from the crook of Laurent’s shoulder and kisses him.

 Laurent keens into it. He wraps his legs around Damen’s waist, murmuring encouragements in Veretian against Damen’s mouth.

 Damen’s thrusts start to get shallow; his rhythm isn’t synced, but it still makes Laurent’s toes curl.

 “Good?” Damen says. His biceps are straining with effort.

 “You know it is,” Laurent says.

 “I like the confirmation,” Damen says with that terrible smirk, and Laurent closes his eyes and lets himself take it.

 Damen comes first. He’s loud when it happens; Laurent is sure his neighbours hate him.

 His cock is straining against his stomach when Damen pulls out. Laurent flushes when he feels the wetness inside him, and he darkens further when Damen pulls his ass cheeks apart, watching in awe as his come dribbles out of Laurent’s hole.

 “Don’t touch your cock,” says Damen.

 “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Laurent arches his back when Damen’s mouth seals over his hole.

 Damen slips his tongue in easily, licking into Laurent with enthusiasm. Laurent shakes under his grip. Damen’s stubble rubs against his skin, and Laurent knows it’s steadily pinkening.

 He feels on edge. His cock is so hard it hurts. He pulls on Damen’s curls desperately, and Damen buries into him deeper.

 Laurent’s mouth falls open. His quiet panting fills the room, joining the cacophony of sounds Damen’s mouth produces as he eats him out.

 Laurent feels like crying. He almost asks Damen to stop because it’s too much, too much, too much.

 Then Damen slows down to short, tiny licks. When he resurfaces, he gives Laurent a filthy wink. His chin is wet.

 Laurent comes.

 *

 Every Thursday, Laurent and Damen have lunch at a small brunch place just outside campus. It’s usually packed, but Damen always manages to secure them a table. Laurent suspects this is because Damen has slept with one of the baristas. Damen has never explicitly denied this detail.

 Today, their table is outside, along the gravel path leading to the campus gardens. The weather is nice; a rarity in Marlas, and Laurent enjoys the sunshine on his face.

 Initially their weekly lunch meetings had been a habit borne out of practicality: last semester, one of the only days they could meet up was on Thursday mornings. After a good, thorough fuck, Damen always needed a cigarette, and Laurent always got hungry, so their solution was to head out to this particular brunch place.

 Now, though, it’s become a fixed tradition between them. Damen also refers to it as their place – which Laurent still doesn’t quite understand.

 Damen orders his usual – the everything breakfast – and Laurent, pleasantly reminded of this morning’s activities when he moves in his seat, decides to order the same thing.

 Halfway through their meal, they’re interrupted by Nikandros, one of Damen’s teammates. Nikandros is wearing his letterman jacket, but he shrugs it off as he pulls up a seat at their table. He steals a chorizo sausage off of Laurent’s plate, despite Laurent’s protests.

 Nikandros starts talking to Damen about the statistics of their latest game while Laurent finishes up his food. Once he’s done, he pulls out his pack of cigarettes. He manages to finish half of it; he offers Nikandros the rest. Nikandros eyes fall on the cigarette, then Laurent’s mouth, before he forcibly tears his eyes away and shakes his head.

 He addresses Damen again, his voice slightly hoarse, “Hey! I just remembered – guess who I saw coming out the law library today?”

 “Who?” Damen takes Laurent’s cigarette.

 Nikandros pauses for dramatic effect. His smirk is not as attractive as Damen’s. “Lykaios.”

 Damen drops his cigarette. He doesn’t pay it much mind; instead, he leans forward in his seat, eyes alight. “Wait – seriously? You’re not messing with me?”

 “Nah,” Nikandros shakes his head, looking pleased. “Asked her what she’s doing here, apparently she’s starting postgrad law this semester.” Nikandros pauses again. “Like you.”

 “Wow.” Damen’s expression is brittle with disbelief. “What are the chances?”

 “Seems like fate.”

 “Who’s Lykaios?” Laurent asks.

 “Oh,” says Damen. “She’s an old friend from when I still lived in Ios.”

 “A friend,” says Nikandros. His expression is amused. “Oh, come on, you two were practically together.”

 “That’s not true,” Damen says quickly. He casts Laurent a reassuring look. “It honestly isn’t.”

 Laurent doesn’t understand why Damen is being so defensive; it’s not news to him that Damen has been with other people.

 “You were pretty much in love with her, dude.” Nikandros picks a sausage off Damen’s plate this time.

 “Oh,” Laurent says before he can help it. The statement takes him by surprise. One of the first things Damen had told him when they’d first started hooking up was: I don’t know what it’s like to be in love. In the stillness of the night, Damen had been vulnerable and open; it was the first time Laurent realised the person in his bed might be more multifaceted than he let on.

 “No,” Damen gives Laurent another reassuring look. His foot presses against Laurent’s underneath the table. “I wasn’t.” His voice is firm. “There was a time I thought I was, but I was wrong.”

 Nikandros clearly doesn’t believe him. He rolls his eyes and utters a small, “Whatever.”

 Laurent pulls out another cigarette, thinking.

 *

 Later that night, Laurent is contemplative. It’s late: almost two in the morning and the rain outside is a welcome, soothing noise.

 Laurent is so sore, he almost regrets the last round, as short as it was. It doesn’t keep him from draping himself over Damen’s chest, fingers lazily tracing over the tattoo on his pec.

 Damen keeps running his fingers through Laurent’s sweat soaked hair, his fingernails gently scratching against his scalp. It’s so relaxing, Laurent feels like he could fall asleep like this. Practically, he knows he shouldn’t: there’s dry come on his stomach and between his thighs. He’s also sweaty, and Damen is too.

 But instead of getting up, Laurent asks into the stillness of the night: “What is she like?”

 Damen jerks a little; his eyes have been closed for a while now.

 “Hm?”

 “Lykaios,” Laurent says. “I want to know what she’s like.”

 There’s a small pause. Damen shifts again. “Why?”

 “I don’t know. It seemed like she means a lot to you – and I’m interested.”

 “She meant a lot to me. As in, past tense.”

 “It didn’t seem that way during lunch,” Laurent points out. He doesn’t know why Damen is being so evasive and why it’s bothering him so much. “You seemed excited to hear about her.”

 “Well yeah,” Damen says. In the darkness, it’s hard to read his usually expressive face, but Laurent can still sense a growing tightness in Damen’s body. “But that’s only because it’s been a while since any of us have heard from her. She sort of disappeared after first year.”

 Laurent pinches Damen’s bicep. “Tell me.”

 Damen sighs. He rolls over, so Laurent is unfairly jostled aside. He turns on the lamp on the bedside table. As the room is washed in a dull yellow light, Laurent can see how matted Damen’s hair has become, as well as the fingernail indentations along his shoulders.

 “There’s honestly not much to say,” Damen says. His voice is very quiet, mindful of the neighbouring dorm rooms. “We were family friends for years, and in my senior year I realised I liked her a lot – more than I thought I did. But she had a boyfriend, so I never did anything about it. And then she dumped him because she liked me, but this time I was seeing someone. So, in the end, nothing happened.”

 “That’s it?” Laurent frowns. In his mind, he keeps replaying Damen’s reaction at lunch; surely, there must be more to the story. Damen huffs. It almost seems like he’s pouting. He pokes Laurent’s stomach, hard. “You’re being very annoying.”

 Laurent swats his hand away. “Are you still in love with her?”

 “I already told you I never was. I just thought I could be because I was a horny eighteen year old.”

 That makes Laurent laugh. It’s an unintentional sound, but it makes Damen smile.

 “I’m not interested in anyone but you,” Damen says, too sincerely. The words hang heavy in the air.

 Laurent doesn’t know what to make of it – not just the words, but Damen’s tone as well. It makes his stomach clamp up. He thinks Damen is making a point about how attractive he finds Laurent; in bed, the subject of Laurent’s body is always a welcoming topic.

 So, Laurent says, a little awkwardly, “Thank you.”

 Damen snorts. He looks fond. He kisses Laurent, and Laurent gladly welcomes it.

 It’s a slow, sensual kiss. Damen keeps mapping out Laurent’s body with his hands, fingertips tracing over the veins across Laurent’s wrist, his chest.

 “Think you can go again?” Damen says against his mouth. Pressed to each other like this, Laurent can feel Damen’s erection. It’s hot, he thinks to himself, how Damen physically reacts to him, even when Laurent hasn’t done anything to particularly excite him.

 He’s still sore, sweaty and gross, but Laurent says: “Yes.”

 *

 Laurent is late to his study session with Damen on Wednesday. They normally don’t study together; tonight is an exception. Damen is apparently tired of being cooped in his room alone as he pours over his essays.

 Outside the study room, Laurent pauses. Through the clear glass, he can see Damen is already seated, textbooks placed carelessly over the wooden tabletop. But he’s not alone. There’s someone seated on the edge of the table, in the one corner free of Damen’s things.

 It’s Lykaios. Laurent knows it must be; Damen’s face is exuberant, creased with warmth. His smile is filled with teeth, white and straight, and there’s a lingering softness there. Laurent’s chest clenches with a foreign feeling. He’s unsure what it is, but then deduces it must be relief at seeing Damen so happy.

 Laurent almost turns back. He wants to give Damen and his not-quite ex-girlfriend time to catch up. The thought of intruding on them with his presence fills him with anxiety. But he remains rooted on the spot because, for some strange reason, the thought of leaving them alone also fills him with anxiety.

 Luckily – or perhaps, unluckily; Laurent still hasn’t made up his mind – Damen spots him through the glass. His smile, now directed at Laurent, changes instantly; it dissolves into a steady kind of fondness. His eyes seem to shine brighter.

 It completely baffles Laurent.

 His chest tightens again; this time, it’s much more pleasant.

 Laurent supposes he should enter now. Damen seems to have forgotten about Lykaios; his eyes remain on Laurent as Laurent fumbles with the doorknob and steps into the room.

 “Hey,” he says. His smile – and voice – wobble. “Sorry I’m late.”

 “Don’t worry about it,” Damen’s smile, impossibly, widens even more. Laurent’s gaze is helplessly drawn to it.

 They stare at each other for a few moments longer than necessary until Damen seems to remember they’re not alone. He fumbles over the introductions, face flushed.

 Lykaios is unbelievably gorgeous. Like most Akielons, she’s very tall; even wearing flats she’s a few inches taller than Laurent. Laurent tries not to be bitter about it. Her hair isn’t as blonde as Laurent’s, but it’s long and shiny. Her eyes are amazing; long lashed and an intriguing colour, somewhere between green and blue.

 Standing next to Damen, the two of them look like a regal painting. They look good together. They complement each other.

 Laurent – unexpectedly, painfully – feels inadequate.

 Lykaios rounds the table and shakes Laurent’s hand with vigour. Her smile is kind and open; her enthusiasm is genuine. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Damen has managed to mention your name about a hundred times in the last half an hour.”

 Damen flushes at that, suddenly busying himself with rearranging his textbooks.

 Laurent smiles. He can feel the heat travel across his face. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

 “I’m sorry for interrupting your study session.” Her voice is so sweet, Laurent thinks he could listen to her talk all day. “I was literally just walking past and saw Damen in here. I almost couldn’t believe it.” She turns to Damen and gives him in an assessing look. “It’s been what – six years?”

 “Fuck off,” Damen says, with little heat. “I don’t want to be reminded of how old I am.”

 Lykaios laughs at that. Her laugh is sweet too.

 Laurent says, “You guys will probably see more of each other now. You’re in the same course, right?”

 Lykaios beams. “Yep! Another weird coincidence.”

 “Or fate,” Laurent points out.

 Damen gives him a strange look. “Definitely just a coincidence.”

 “Ah, who knows the mysterious ways of the universe,” says Lykaios. She gives Laurent a wink.

 Laurent decides he likes her, despite the twisting in his gut.

 It’s why he says: “Did you want to stay and study with us? We were also going to grab some dinner afterwards. You could join us for that too.”

 Damen gives him another strange look; this one is brittle with disbelief.

 Laurent ignores it. He keeps his eyes on Lykaios, who smiles at him.

 “Thank you for the very kind offer, but I’ve already got plans tonight, I’m afraid.” She seems genuinely sorry, and it makes Laurent like her even more.

 “Maybe next time,” Laurent says.

 Damen frowns.

 Lykaios doesn’t stay too long after that; she claims she needs to start getting ready for her night out. When she leaves, she kisses Damen’s cheek. Laurent bristles a little at that.

 But his annoyance morphs into pleasantness when she hugs him goodbye – like Damen, she is very touchy, Laurent notices.

 As soon as the door closes behind her, Damen kisses Laurent, hard and open mouthed. It’s a terrible kiss; Laurent isn’t expecting it, and he almost topples backwards with the force of it. Then he starts laughing, so Damen’s mouth mostly meets his teeth.

 The second one is much, much better.

 “I’ve been wanting to do that for the past ten minutes,” says Damen. “Next time, kissing first, and then we move on to having a conversation.”

 “Shut up,” says Laurent. He pulls out his textbooks, trying not to laugh. After a few moments, he says, “She seems really nice. I can see why you liked her so much.”

 He imagines Damen at eighteen, maybe a little naïve and cocky, completely enamoured by Lykaios’ sweetness.

 Damen rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He squints at Laurent. “You’re not still hung up on that are you?” His mouth deepens into a smirk. He waggles his eyebrows. “Need me to prove my loyalty, baby?”

 Laurent flushes. It’s not the first time Damen has used that endearment – he mostly says it in bed – but it still catches Laurent off guard every time.

 His mouth is suddenly very dry. The only thing he can manage to say is: “Shut up.” And then he gets to work, smiling into his shoulder when Damen’s foot wraps around his underneath the table.

 *

 Lykaios’ Instagram is an explosion of colour: she likes wearing a lot of red and green and purple. Her entire profile is filled with her travels, charity work, her friends, and some shots of her eyelids coated in glitter. The more Laurent scrolls, the more careful he is not to like anything.

 There are plenty of pictures of her from high school; Damen is in most of them, fresh faced and youthful. It’s strange to look at: nothing about Damen is boyish, but these pictures prove otherwise.

 Laurent comes across a photo of Lykaios and Damen from six years ago. In it, Damen has his arm around her waist while Lykaios rests her head on his shoulder.

 The caption is: hbd to this guy aka my soulmate #finally18

 Soulmate, Laurent thinks. His mouth purses.

 Damen’s comment is the first comment. It reads: love u ly!

 Laurent puts his phone down.

 His thoughts come too fast: he starts to think of all the ways Damen and Lykaios fit together, how connected they seemed even after so much time apart. He thinks of how nice they looked together.

 Then, Laurent starts thinking of all the nice things Damen has done for him over the last few months. The duffel bag full of his favourite snacks comes to mind, as does the time Damen took him to a fancy restaurant when Laurent had averaged a high distinction last semester. Damen had even driven him almost forty minutes to the dentist once, even though he had an assessment due in the afternoon.

 Damen is always doing nice things for him, and Laurent realises, guiltily, that he’s never quite returned the favour. His own gestures have often been small and unnoteworthy; they’ve never possessed the grandeur of Damen’s actions.

 Laurent knows exactly how to change that.

 *

 Laurent isn’t the most forthcoming person. It takes him an embarrassingly long time to gather enough courage to message Lykaios on Instagram. But once he makes it past his awkward introduction – hey this is laurent in case you don’t remember me – to which Lykaios had responded ofc i do silly!, their conversations are light and easy.

The more Laurent talks to her over the week, the more he’s convinced of his plan. Lykaios is everything Damen needs and vice versa. It’s crazy how similar their personalities are: they’re both incredibly sweet, intelligent and interested in almost all the same things, from okton to hiking.

 The next week, Laurent invites Lykaios to his and Damen’s weekly lunch outing.

 Damen smiles when he sees him. He doesn’t lose the smile on his face when he sees Lykaios, but his eyes snap to Laurent’s in confusion.

 “This is a nice surprise,” he says, although his tone is dry.

 Laurent pretends not to notice it. Lykaios kisses Damen’s cheek in greeting and Laurent scratches at his chest as he sits down.

 Damen leans over the table to kiss him, but Laurent quickly picks out the menu and starts to read it, even though he’s practically memorised it by now. He doesn’t want Damen to kiss him now – especially in front of Lykaios – and ruin his plan before it’s had the chance to even formulate.

 When he puts the menu back, Damen is openly frowning.

 It disappears as Lykaios begins talking. The transformation is amazing; Damen is instantly captivated by her. Laurent swallows. This is good, he reminds himself.

 Laurent waits about ten minutes. He’s started to notice that even though Damen is laughing along to all of Lykaios’ jokes, he’s still shooting Laurent glances every few seconds.

 The question on his face is clear: why is she here?

 Laurent plays with his phone for a while. He tries to make it look like he’s texting something important; he keeps his brows furrowed in concentration.

 Laurent isn’t the best actor, but even he’s proud of himself as he lets out a small gasp.

 “What is it?” says Damen, instantly alert.

 “Nothing,” Laurent waves him off. “It’s just that I completely forgot I had a study session right now.” He stands up, grabs his bag. “I should go.”

 “Wait –” Damen’s face pinches. “You’re leaving?”

 “I’m sorry, but this is really important.” Laurent turns to Lykaios and smiles. “You two stay and have fun.”

 “But –”

 “Bye!” Laurent says it too enthusiastically, cutting Damen off. He walks out of the brunch place with hurried steps. He turns back at the end of the gravel path just to check if –

 His chest tightens with pleasure – yes, pleasure, although he’s not sure why it doesn’t feel like it – when he sees his absence has made little disturbance. Damen and Lykaios are laughing together, mouths open in delight.

 Over the next few days, Laurent organises more and more outings with Damen and Lykaios. Damen never seems to stop looking confused whenever Laurent invites Lykaios, but he also seems happy to see her, so Laurent counts it as a win. During each outing, Laurent manages to come up with a different excuse each time as to why he needed to leave early. Damen always looks disappointed. Laurent is weak for it; he can’t count how many times that look has almost made him stay, but he doesn’t, because it would be detrimental to his plan.

 Laurent makes sure to text Damen whether or not he enjoyed his time with Lykaios. Damen’s responses are pretty much the same every time: Yes, but it would’ve been better if you were there too.

 It frustrates Laurent. Damen isn’t supposed to still be thinking of him while he’s hanging out with his potential soulmate.

 Lykaios is the first to grow suspicious. She confronts him at the next outing. They’re in an idyllic little bar in the city, with a cosy atmosphere. It’s a perfect date venue.

 Damen heads to the bathroom, and Laurent stands up, ready to leave, when Lykaios stops him with a hand on his arm.

 “Laurent,” she says. “Is there a reason you keep depriving us of your company?”

 Laurent manages a sheepish smile. He wonders if he should say anything at all. Then, he decides he should: he feels like Lykaios would appreciate his directive.

 Laurent plays with the little sugar packets on the table. “I’ve been trying to get you and Damen to spend more time together. Alone,” he adds, when he sees her confusion.

 “Why?”

 “Well…” Laurent hesitates; he’s just now beginning to realise how awkward this is. “I think you two would be good together…romantically.”

 Lykaios raises her eyebrows.

 Laurent continues, fingers still fidgeting. “It’s just…Damen mentioned how much you two liked each other a few years ago. And I think Damen still regards you very highly. Plus, you two are so alike – I just think it makes sense.”

 Lykaios’ eyebrows don’t lower, but she casts a backward glance towards where Damen has disappeared to.

 “I can’t say I haven’t thought about Damen and I…” she begins, and Laurent’s gut twists with…relief? Yes, he’s sure it’s relief. It’s a good – great – thing that Lykaios is interested in Damen. “But I thought –” Lykaios pauses for a few seconds. “I mean, I was under the impression that you and Damen were together.”

 Laurent laughs, and then he realises she’s being serious. “You – no. We’re not. We’re friends.” Friends who spent a lot of time sleeping together, sure, but Laurent doesn’t think mentioning that now will do him any favours.

 Lykaios’ face instantly changes. Her smile takes up her entire face; it’s stunning. She’s stunning.

 Laurent shifts in his seat. He clears his throat. “So – you…you want to date him?”

 She flushes, and it only makes her look more beautiful. “Like I said…I’ve definitely thought about it.”

 “Oh – good. That’s awesome. Damen will be so happy.” He stands up. “So, I’ll leave you two alone?”

Lykaios nods. “Thank you, Laurent.”

 “Don’t mention it.”

 He turns around to leave. Everything in his body is screaming not to.

 He keeps reminding himself that he’s doing something nice for Damen: that Damen will appreciate the fact that Laurent set him up with someone like Lykaios, a brilliant woman he has a past with. His mouth is dry, and Laurent’s palms are suddenly sweaty. Briefly, he wonders if this is always what happens when people do nice things for another. If it is…he might have to limit his niceness.

 *

 Laurent doesn’t mean to start ignoring Damen’s calls or texts. It just happens. He isn’t in the mood to listen to Damen go on about Lykaios; Laurent already knows she’s amazing.

 He’s also confident that they’re dating now – or at least getting there. Lykaios posted a lot of snaps from the last night Laurent left them alone, and all of them had been of Damen smiling, drinking, smirking at the camera. They’d been there until three in the morning; Laurent knows because he’d stayed up until then, refreshing his Instagram feed to see any updates on Lykaios’ story.

 What had they even been doing for so long anyway? Damen had called him until eleven, before he presumably gave up. Had Lykaios pulled a move on him? Had they gone back to Damen’s room, fucked on his bed? Had Damen thought of how he’d fucked Laurent on that same bed just last week? Or had he been so consumed by Lykaios and her pleasantness that Damen hadn’t even thought of Laurent?

 Laurent had had the worst night of sleep.

 And then a few nights ago, Nikandros had posted an image of the football team hanging around at his dorm room. (Laurent vaguely remembers being invited to that). In the photo, Laurent’s eyes had immediately been drawn to Damen in the corner, his head bent down as he said something to Lykaios, who had been smiling widely. It had looked very intimate. Laurent had turned his phone off when he saw it.

 Alone in his room, Laurent lies on his bed, heart constricting. He should be happy for Damen. It’s frustrating him that he isn’t. And worst of all, he doesn’t know why.

 He thinks it might be because he’s gotten so used to having Damen around all the time. If Damen starts seeing someone, then he’d obviously start spending less time with Laurent.

 Laurent doesn’t want Damen to spend less time with him. If anything, they should be spending more time together. He only sees Damen about four times a week! That’s too little. Laurent should talk to Damen about that. He should tell him, Damen, even though you have a girlfriend now, I still want you to spend all your time with me, and I still want you to take me to fancy restaurants and then fuck me hard when we get home.

 Horrified, Laurent rolls over and screams into his pillow.

  *

 A few hours later, while Laurent is trying to clean out his desk drawers, there’s a knock on the door. It’s a rapid set of knocks, loud and urgent.

 Laurent frowns. He opens the door and his heart jumps when he sees Damen there, wearing a shirt Laurent had gifted him in the summer. Damen’s face is annoyed; it’s not an expression Laurent has seen often on Damen - and even rarely directed towards him. 

 Damen pushes past Laurent into the room. He takes up most of the space in it. Laurent’s heart still hasn’t calmed down. 

 “Tell me,” says Damen.

 “What?”

 “Tell me what I did wrong. I don’t like this passive aggressive bullshit.”

 “What?” Laurent says again.

 Damen crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You haven’t returned a single one of my calls or texts. You don’t want to hang out with me anymore. And I waited all night for you to show up to Nikandros’ and you didn’t.” When Laurent doesn’t say anything, he presses on. “Well? What did I do to piss you off?”

 “I – nothing,” Laurent shakes his head, shocked. “I’m not mad at you.“

 "Please,” Damen scoffs. “You -”

 "I’m not,“ Laurent says. “I was just giving you some space.”

 ”Space. Why?“

 "Well…” Laurent finds himself hesitating. “So you and Lykaios can spend more time together.”

 “Why the fuck would I want to do that?”

 “Um. She didn’t tell you?”

 Damen’s eyes harden. His mouth presses into a tight line. “Can you please just give me a straight answer?”

 “I’m – I’ve been trying to set you and Lykaios up.” Damen’s mouth drops open. Laurent quickly adds, “I talked to her about it and she said she’s been thinking of dating you too! So you know…” He trails off weakly.

 There’s a sudden, pressing silence. It engulfs the small space of Laurent’s room.

 In a very quiet, measured voice, Damen says, “What makes you think I would want to date Lykaios?”

 “She really likes you Damen. And I think you two would be a good match. I mean – you’re so compatible.”

 “No.” Damen’s voice is hard. “I meant: why the fuck do you think I would want to date Lykaios when I’m already dating you?”

 Laurent’s eyes widen. His breath stutters in his chest. There’s a strange ringing in his ears. “We’re not dating.” His voice is too quiet; he can’t bring himself to repeat himself any louder.

 Damen’s eyes bulge. It would be a comical expression if the atmosphere in the room wasn’t so deadly.

 “Not. Dating.” Damen repeats between his teeth. “You – You really believe that?”

 Damen’s mouth loosens around the edges. He looks like he’s received the worst news of his life.

 “I –” Laurent fumbles with his words. The back of his neck prickles with discomfort. “We’re friends.”

 “Is that what we are?” Damen scoffs. “My mistake, then.”

 Laurent still feels wrongfooted. It’s almost like he’s not even experiencing this conversation, just watching himself have it.

 “I don’t understand,” says Laurent. “I was just trying to do something nice for you. I thought it’d be good for you if you had a girlfriend like Lykaios.”

 “For fuck’s sake, Laurent.” All of Damen’s anger melts away. His tone now is sullen.  “I’ve literally been obsessed with you for the last six months – are you seriously just realising this now?”

 “I’m –” Laurent swallows. “But you’ve never asked me out or called me your…boyfriend.” His tongue dries up around the world.

 “I asked you out to Route all those months ago!” Damen says.

 “No. You said: ‘do you want to go out with me to –’” Laurent cuts himself off. Now that he thinks about it, he’s sure that Damen did ask him out on a date. He’d also said, I don’t usually do this on a first date while they’d been in bed together, hadn’t he?

 The realisation stumps Laurent.

 “Oh,” he says.

 Damen sits down on the edge of the bed, groaning. He buries his head in his hands. “Oh my god, Laurent. How can someone so smart be so stupid?”

 Laurent supposes he should feel offended by that. He isn’t, though, because he genuinely feels stupid.

 “You still didn’t make anything official.” Laurent says after a while.

 Damen looks up. “Fuck you.” His eyebrows furrow. “What was stopping you from asking me?”

 “Why would I say anything?! I thought you were only interested in fucking me!”

 Damen groans again. He sounds like he’s dying. “If that were true, then why would I –” He gestures around the room. Laurent knows what he means. He thinks of all the…dates Damen has taken him on, all the gifts he’s been given, the fact that Damen doesn’t leave his side when they go to parties together.

 Laurent closes his eyes. This is too much. He’s shocked by the anger that overtakes him – anger at himself.

 “I’m sorry,” he says. “I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.”

 Damen looks at him steadily. He gathers his thoughts. “Do you still think I should date Lykaios? Because you seem pretty invested in the idea and I –” Damen sighs. “I don’t want to – I don’t think I can be with you if you don’t feel the same as I do.”

 “How do you feel about me?” Laurent asks softly.

 Damen’s gaze is burning. Laurent is pinned beneath it. “Laurent, I love you.”

 Laurent gasps. It’s a soft sound, but in the stillness of the room it rattles against the walls. His throat closes.

 When a few silent moments pass, Damen sighs. He stands up, mouth drooping and fingers tense by his thighs. “Alright…That’s.” He stops. He gives Laurent a small nod. “I’ll just go then.”

 Laurent blocks his path with a shrill, “Wait!”

 Damen stops.

 Laurent’s fingers twitch. He wants to touch Damen. But he knows he should – “I don’t want you to date Lykaios. I don’t even know what the fuck I was thinking, alright? You just – you seemed so into her Damen, and I thought it would be nice if I did you a favour and set you up with her because you’re always doing nice things for me but then I got so sad and angry and confused every time you were together and then I felt guilty for feeling those things and I just –”

 “Okay, slow down,” Damen’s hands grip his shoulders.

 Laurent shakes his head. His chest is bubbling with all these emotions he’s refused to acknowledge. “I don’t want you to date Lykaios,” he repeats. “I want you to date me.” He pauses. “Only me.”

 Damen snorts. “Easy. I’ve already been doing that.”

 “I’m sorry I didn’t know,” Laurent says. His throat is still tight with emotion.

 “We’ll work on communicating better,” Damen says. He peers down at Laurent until their eyes meet. “I only want you, Laurent.”

 Laurent collapses into Damen. He buries his head against Damen’s chest, weak in his relief. He even sniffles a little, something Damen thankfully ignores. “I only want you, too.”

 Damen’s body loosens; he exhales and squeezes Laurent in his embrace. He kisses Laurent’s temple. “That makes me so happy.”

 “Me too,” Laurent says.

 Guiltily, he thinks of Lykaios. He remembers her excitement at the thought of being with Damen. Laurent needs to make it up to her, somehow, if she’ll let him. Maybe he could buy her flowers? Laurent has never bought flowers for anyone in his life, but he thinks Lykaios might like roses – unless that’s too romantic? Or maybe he could –

 “Hey,” Damen says, interrupting his thought process.

 Laurent looks up at him. Damen’s smile is radiant; it’s all white teeth and creased eyes. “Yeah?”

 “Do me a favour.”

 “Anything.”

 Damen kisses him. Laurent smiles into it as his entire body fills with an unparalleled warmth. He’s not sure if he loves Damen back…but he’s confident he’s getting there.

 Damen pulls back. He assesses Laurent with a stern frown. “Don’t ever do anything nice for me.”

 Laurent huffs. He hides his face in Damen’s chest again. “Shut up.”

[charanteleclerc]

"I wish you would write a fic where..." Lando falls completely in love with Carlos (bc of those mclaren videos and such) and one night just can't hold it in anymore (Also that lando/george fic was amazing😍)

you lit up the sky, you etched yourself onto my heart

He couldn’t really believe that the season was coming to an end. He wanted to grasp it with both of his hands, hold onto it until the very last moment. This was what he’d been dreaming of his entire life, and if he wanted to be a little selfish and childish about it, he would be. His first full season, with the promise of at least a second. It was everything he’d wanted and more, he just didn’t want it to end. 

“Cabrón? You okay?” Carlos appeared at his shoulder, looking concerned. “You looked like you were thinking.”

“Fuck off, I can think.” Lando laughed, nudging Carlos with his shoulder. Carlos snickered, holding up his hands. 

“Okay, okay.” Carlos laughed. “I am sorry, that was bad. You can think, sometimes.”

Lando rolled his eyes, but the grin didn’t fade from his face. “Cheers mate. I feel so much better.”

“It is okay.” Carlos shrugged. “So what were you thinking of?”

“Stupid stuff. Just don’t want this all to finish, you know?” Lando could feel his ears starting to burn. He was admitting to his team-mate that he was scared of what came next, that he was being sentimental. “Did you feel this way, after your first season?”

“Of course. We work so hard to get here, it is natural we want to make the most of it. But you should not worry, you will have lots of seasons to enjoy. The break is as important as the season.”

“Look at you, all wise.” Lando teased. “Who are you and what have you done with Carlos?”

“You shall never know.” Carlos said seriously, before winking, walking away. “See you later, cabrón.”

Lando watched him go, his heart turning over in his chest.. It had taken him a while to realise how he felt about his team-mate, and he would be lying if it was part of the reason that he didn’t want the season to end. He didn’t know how much he’d see Carlos over the winter break, realistically he might not see him at all. He didn’t want to go from seeing Carlos almost every weekend to nothing. He’d live obviously, no-one ever died from pining, but just watching him on instagram or snapchat, it just wasn’t enough for him. He wanted as much as he could grasp, without letting Carlos in on his secret. The late night gaming sessions, or just spending any time with him away from the track, that would all disappear in front of his eyes, just like smoke. 

He wanted something real. 

~*~

The fireworks were erupting over the track, lighting up the night sky, sharply and searing into his mind. Brilliant reds and blues, crisp gold and white etching their way across the stars. He watched them for just a few seconds, sitting in his car and making no attempt to move. The season was over, and all he could focus on was his heartbeat, thudding in time to the fireworks above his head. He could vaguely hear the cheers from the stands, the smoke in the corner of his eye from whoever was spinning donuts. Lewis, no doubt. He exhaled, finally pulling himself out of his car, ready to face his team. He could feel the tears lurking, the pang of disappointment from knowing that he wouldn’t be stepping in this car again. His car. He patted it, giving it a small rub, and let out a shaky exhale, before taking off his helmet. He could be strong, he had to be. 

“Lando!” Carlos was in front of him, beaming like the world had finally realised his worth. “Sixth place!”

“In the championship?” Lando asked, dumbstruck. “No way!”

“Yes way!” Carlos looked like he’d been set alight, burning bright. “I cannot believe it. I really cannot.”

“You deserve it.” Lando said honestly, dragging him in for a tight hug. Close your eyes, commit this to memory. “You deserve it so much.”

“Our time will come.” Carlos sounded choked, and Lando could feel hands tightening on his overalls, just for a split-second, before Carlos was pulling back. “We’ll be on top of the world, do not worry.”

Lando watched as Carlos was pulled into a swarm of team-members, everyone cheering around him. “I think you’re already there.” He said softly to himself, watching Carlos lap up the praise. “You won’t wait.”

~*~

His head was fuzzy, and he could almost feel the world moving slowly around him. He should’ve been more careful, he knew how severe the laws could be if caught drunk, but there was a voice inside him telling him to keep drinking. He was one of the fastest men in the world, he was untouchable. No-one would dare pick a fight with a team, there was too much face, too much prestige at stake. 

He saw Carlos over on a balcony, laughing at another man’s joke. He slumped further down into his seat, barely taking any notice of the rest of the room. Carlos was the only one in focus, the only one worth his attention. He wanted to be standing out there, Carlos laughing at him, a hand reaching up to brush away hair from his face, leaning in…

Fuck, he’d definitely drunk too much. 

Carlos turned to look in the room, raising a hand when he saw him staring. Lando tried to smile, pushing himself off his seat, walking through the room to the exit. He didn’t see Carlos’s face fall, he didn’t see Carlos making his excuses, darting his way through the sea of people to catch up with him. 

Lando didn’t hear Carlos behind him, not until he was right there, a hand on his back and startling him, making him stumble. He blinked, and Carlos had apparently caught him as he fell, and if there was anything remotely funny about the situation he’d been in hysterics. He was a literal damsel in distress, he was even swooning. 

Carlos righted him, hands on his shoulders, and he looked upset. Why did he look upset? Carlos had been laughing as he left the party, he was sure of that. “No… why are you upset?”

Carlos frowned. “I’m not. I think you are though, Lando. You look sad.”

Lando shrugged. “Maybe. You should go back. You were having fun, with that guy. He looks nice, you should go have fun with him.”

“What man?” Carlos asked, confused. Lando groaned.

“The pretty man on the balcony. I get it, I really do. You’d have very pretty babies.”

Carlos gaped, and Lando screwed his eyes shut, covering his face with his hands. He was such an idiot. Stupid drunk mouth, stupid him, why did he have to say that, such a fucking idiot…

“I am going to take you back to your room.” Carlos said finally, spinning Lando on the spot. “I think you do not know what you’re saying.”

There was no need for a response, none needed to be said. He’d screwed up, Carlos must know how he felt now. This friendship was as good as dead, turning into ash the minute he’d opened his mouth. 

Carlos left him at his door, and left without a word. Lando watched him disappear down the corridor, and he was left alone again. He just wasn’t sure if it was forever this time.

~*~

He woke to an insistent knocking at his door, making him wince with every thump. “I’m coming!” He groaned, pushing himself upright, walking slowly across the floor. Memories of last night were already flooding back, hazy and almost not quite real, as if he was watching himself on a cinema screen, a private showing for one. 

He kept the lights off, squinting as he pulled the door open. All he could see was a silhouette against the bright lights. “Morning?”

“Close cabrón, but it is the afternoon.” Carlos smirked, pushing past into the room. “You look awful.”

“Cheers.” Lando sighed, looking around for a shirt he could throw on. “You always say such nice things.”

“No problem.” Carlos shrugged. “Lando, about last night -”

“I’m sorry.” Lando cut him off, tugging a shirt on. He took a shaky breath, looking up at Carlos. “I had way too much to drink, and I was feeling lonely…”

“Were you jealous?” Carlos asked the question quietly, but to Lando he might have well screamed it. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. What could he even say? He could lie and say no, he’d been putting on this act for long enough, so why did that make him want to cry?

“Lando, please.” Carlos pleaded, and it was enough. Lando nodded, biting down on his lip to stop the tears, dragging in a shaky breath.

“Yes. Yes, I was jealous. I wanted to be that guy, I wanted to make you laugh.” 

“You always make me laugh.”

“No, I wanted to be the only one to make you laugh. I want to be the one you turn to, I want to be one that you talk to first.” Lando wrapped his arms around himself, looking anywhere but Carlos. “I’m sorry, I get that you’re gonna want to stay away from me, just… don’t make this any harder.”

“Lando…”

“Carlos.” Lando grit out. “Please.”

“Lando.” Carlos said, sounding closer. Lando opened his eyes, and Carlos was standing right in front of him, looking so sincere it made him ache. “I think you do not see yourself clearly.”

“What?”

“Lando, you are the first person I speak to in the morning, you are the person I think of last at night. You are all those things to me already, I think you never realised it.” Carlos raised a hand, brushing a stray lock of hair away from Lando’s face. “I have been waiting for you.”

Carlos leant in, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, lingering just a second. “Do you still want me to leave, cabrón?”

Lando shook his head. “No.” He replied hoarsely. “No, please don’t.”

“Can I kiss you?” Carlos asked, waiting for Lando to nod before leaning in again, kissing him softly, a hand bracing around the back of his neck. Lando wanted to dissolve into this, but Carlos was here. This was finally something he could hold onto, that something real he’d so desperately wanted. Carlos pulled back, smiling. “You okay, cabrón?”

Lando nodded, a slow, warm smile crawling across his face. “Yes. Yes, I think I am.”

~*~

It wasn’t until much later, when they’re both wrapped up warm in Jerez, breath showing in the icy air, that Carlos ever asks him why he had liked him in the first place. The whirrs of the engines fill the air, the scream of a car racing it’s way down the pit straight, and it helps him think. 

“It was those videos. Those McLaren ones, especially that food one. It was almost like you were teasing me.”

“I was teasing you.”

“Knew it.” Lando grinned, turning to look up at Carlos. “I think I’d known before that, but I can’t remember accepting it before then.”

“And it still took you the rest of the season to say something.” Carlos teased gently, resting his hand close to Lando’s, gloved fingers touching. “But it does not matter, we got there.”

Lando smiled, a warm feeling settling in his chest despite the cold. Carlos still looked like he carried the sun, a firework display just starting. But he’d been wrong, that last race. Carlos wasn’t leaving him, they’d make it together. That thought kept him anchored, and as he turned to look back at the track, a scarlet car flashing past them, he realised he had a little bit of that sunshine too.

So so sorry it's taken so long! Did not mean to postpone these all by a few months, but hopefully with this one done I should be getting back into the swing of it! It's taken about 6 attempts to get this one down in words, but it is finally done.

As usual, crossposted to my AO3 (Charante_Leclerc), and prompts are always open! (I promise I do get round to them eventually!) Enjoy ❤️

[halfway-happyyy]

You, Me, and Milo

AN: A quick little piece - changing things up a bit and writing about the elder skarsgård. It was bound to happen. Pure fluff.

You've usually got a pretty good gauge on whether or not you’ll win the argument. It begins with subtle tell-tale signs; a slight sinking of the shoulders, a small smile teasing at the corners of his lips, hell- maybe he'll even elicit a heavy sigh of defeat for good measure.

This morning however, it is entirely too obvious that you are not going to succeed in getting what you want. His head his held high, his beautiful hazel eyes are dark and clouded over, and his jaw set in an impossibly firm line. You know the entire thing is shot to hell when he folds his arms across his chest and shakes his head. He brings a coffee mug to his lips, takes a tentative sip, and then sets it down against the counter with a resounding clank. “We are not getting a puppy.”

He's leant against the kitchen counter, clad in only a pair of worn, grey sweat pants. Though the idea that you are not going to get what you want today causes your cheeks to burn hot, you can't help but think about how much you want to feel him inside of you, when this argument concludes. “I could list a thousand reasons why it would be good for us to get a puppy.”

Alex rolls his eyes at this, which only causes the blush to creep further down your neck. “You could give me a million reasons why it would be good for us to get a puppy but it still wouldn't change my feelings on the subject.”

You brace yourself against the kitchen island and peer at him through the waning light. “You could at least give me one good reason why we shouldn't have one.”

Alex sighs heavily again and gestures with his chin to open script sitting a few feet from you on the wooden table. “We are not home nearly enough to care for a puppy the way a puppy needs caring for.”

Checkmate.

He's got you there.

He pushes himself from the counter and pads over to where you're stood, slightly annoyed and utterly defeated. Wordlessly, he wraps his arms around your frame and presses his lips to your temple. “Can you give me one good reason why we should adopt one?”

You rest your head against his bare chest, the steady rhythm of his heart already lulling you into a peaceful trance. You yawn tiredly against him. “Mmm yeah. You're away from me, from our home, more often than not. It'd be nice to have some company.” You clear your throat. “I can deal with the loneliness aspect of your job, Alex. Heaven knows what I got myself into when I met you. But some company in the form of a fluffy little love bug would make the aloneness that much more bearable.” Alex says nothing in return to this, simply kisses your temple once more and hugs you tighter to him.

Three months pass without a single peep from Alex about a puppy, yet you are nothing if not hellishly persistent. Every week without fail, an email is sent to Alex on set about a puppy you've had your eye on for a while. His mother was brought into the shelter as a stray, and he was born a few weeks later as a pure-white, and incredibly soft-looking little ball of love. Despite the multiple adorable photographs, and your sheer stick-to-itiveness, Alex replies each week with a simple ‘no’.

“I think you may be the only person in the world resistant to the charms of a one month old puppy.” You await his response over the crackle of the telephone wire.

Alex clears his throat and bites into something crunchy. “I think that,” He hesitates a moment while he swallows his bite of food. “I am not even remotely resistant to puppies. I think that if I were to see the puppy in the flesh, there would be no going back for me.” He says something to someone in the background. “I also think that I’ll be home in a week and we can discuss this further then.”

You pick absentmindedly at a fleck of polish on your nail. “I do miss you my love.”

“I miss you always. I have to go though. I'll see your face in seven days.”

One of the best feelings in the world, is arriving home knowing what's waiting in lay for you. His boots are splayed out on the floor of your front closet, his keys placed in the dish next to the front door. His suitcases still aren’t unpacked yet, they’ll probably be there for another week at least. “Alex! I'm home!”

It takes all of about five seconds for you to realize the trail of miniscule dog bone treats, and when you do the breath catches in your throat. You swallow hard and tell yourself not to get too excited… coming from Alex, this could mean literally anything. You pick each treat up as you go, following the trail until you find yourself at the frame of your bedroom door. It stops at the foot of your bed. “Have a seat baby girl,” Alex's voice finds you from the on suite bathroom. “Close your eyes.” You do as you're told as a shiver of anticipation wracks your body. “Keep ‘em closed.” Alex warns as his voice grows closer to where you're seated. You shiver again as you hear his footsteps approach you. “Are you ready baby?”

“Yes.” You giggle.

“Are you sure?”

“Alex!”

He inhales deeply and whispers, “Hold out your arms.”

Again, you do as you're told and in seconds, Alex is placing a puppy within your grasp. It completely takes your breath away. You peer down at the puppy and back up at Alex, eyes wide. “Is this real?”

He guffaws loudly, his head thrown back in hearty laughter. “Of course it's real.”

“You… got us a puppy?” the familiar prickle of tears burns behind your eyes.

Alex kneels down in front of you, takes a small white paw into his much larger hand and presses a kiss to the side of the puppies head. “I visited the shelter after I got off the plane. Luckily, it was just this little guy and his brother left.” Alex gazes lovingly at the puppy as he wriggles playfully in your arms. “Filming wrapped late last week so it'll just be the three of us for the next few months.” He reaches up to brush a stray hair out of your face. “He'll need a good amount of training but what do you think?”

You lift the puppy to your shoulder, revelling into the feel of his tiny head in the crook of your neck. “I think he's perfect.”

Alex stands up and kisses your cheek softly. “What shall we name him?”

“How about Milo?”

Alex bends down and again places another kiss to the puppies’ plush head. His hand finds yours and he simply murmurs, “Welcome to the family Milo.”

[nanasrecovery]

September 13, 2020

Well things have definitely changed a bit since my last journal entry, so this is gonna be a long one. I spent a week back home with my family, and the first day back was, as expected, my most anxiety filled day due to a full to-do list and just adjusting to another environment. I had errands to run for the little celebration I wanted to have for Alisa, Jungkook, and Bronson's birthday, and had some bottle drop offs to take care of as well. I didn't really have time to myself, except when I was in the car, which isn't exactly my most anxiety-free space to begin with (which wasn't always the case surprisingly). I enjoyed being around everyone and even making our own pizzas from scratch, but when it came time to eating, my social anxiety & ED took over (mostly ED). I let him convince me that I shouldn't eat even though I was starving. I knew exactly what was happening, but still, I couldn't get myself to eat. So I tried my best to enjoy the night, regardless of feeling uncomfortably hungry.

The next morning, the negativity continued. First thing I'm greeted by when I come downstairs was a multitude of questions from my mom like "why didn't you eat last night? Why didn't you go to your room and eat? How come you're not telling me how you're doing?" And I know she's coming from a good place as a mother, but this is the kind of thing I wanted to get away from when I moved to Henrico. My eating disorder and anxiety is something my mom will never fully understand, or maybe even try to understand. I've had several conversations with her before on ways she can help me, and I mean really help me, not the ways she thinks she's helping me. For example,

Really listening to me when I talk about my struggles

Not using her own struggle with anxiety as the cure for mine

Trust me that I'm making strides towards recovery at MY pace

But of course, sometimes I feel like she only hears what she wants to hear. What frustrated me the most was she said, "you know how I deal with my anxiety? I eat". And I said "well if you would really listen to me, you would know that I can't do that. If I could, we wouldn't be having this problem right now." And that immediately just made me irritable towards my mom for the rest of my time home, unfortunately. Regardless of that exchange, I was able to eat breakfast and finished my entire pizza from the night before for lunch.

I already had a feeling that being home was gonna help my anxiety a lot, and regardless of the negativity from my mom, it really was. I'm so thankful for Jaron and that he's so understanding and helpful when it comes to my anxiety. He said he would get a ride back up to Henrico just so I could stay home longer, and I'm honestly so glad I did. I've realized how much being home is healing for me, atleast during these current times. When things were going well for me in the beginning of the year, I loved being in Henrico, but after covid hit and things completely changed, I wanted to be back home even though I never wanted to admit it. But I can't dismiss the fact that home is where all of my favorite people are, and some of the anxieties I feel up in Henrico just don't exist when I'm back home.

The moment that made me really miss being home was my absolute favorite part of my week, and something I want to do more often. I had an impromptu picnic with Alisa, Jessa, and Bronson at Chesapeake City Park and it was literally the most relaxed I have felt in so long. Not having technology in my face the whole time, soaking in the sun and breathing fresh air in an open field just felt so nice, and I was able to eat half a sandwich and some pretzels in front of them, which is the most people I've eaten anything in front of in a long time. From that point on, I really wanted to try and make positive steps towards recovery.

I had asked on Twitter and Instagram if people had used CBD products before and what their thoughts were, and I received nothing but positive responses. Ate Jackie had some CBD products she had that she wasn't using so I picked them up and tried them out (yay for not having to pay). The gummies actually taste so good that I would totally eat a bunch at once if they weren't CBD haha. But at first I couldn't really tell if it did anything, but after use over the next couple days I felt the effects, and I'd say it did help mellow me out! I eventually needed a stronger dose and told John about it, so he went to a CBD store and bought gummies for me and some oil for himself (thankful for you, John). The new gummies definitely hit me harder, sometimes I feel like I'm high cause I'm so mellowed out hahaha. Either way, I'm glad that I've found a natural aid for my anxiety since the medication route hasn't been the best choice for me since ED.

Over the next few days I really tried to spend time with people while still giving myself time to rest. For one, I got into Stray Kids, which getting into a new group is a Serotonin boost in itself haha, especially when my biases look like this

How can I not feel happy when I look at them?????

But throughout the rest of the week I also soaked up my time with Deedee, Megan, and even Marc cause they always put me in a great mood. Definitely one of my favorite parts of being home.

Regardless of being stressed due to watching my nephews and dodging my mom's questions or overbearing tendencies, I was able to eat the most that I have in a while, which was really nice, but also brought on anxiety simply because my body isn't used to it. I am still super happy and excited about it nonetheless.

Friday night I had therapy, and after spilling out basically everything I had written about up until this point of the post, she really helped me organize my thoughts and worries, and I just always feel better after therapy sessions with her. She reminded me that sometimes it feels like we're fighting against our family, but we're on the same team fighting against ED, and showed me resources that I could give my mom to help her understand my situation more. She also helped me ease some worries about Jaron and I's current situation of planning on moving back home due to struggling finances since covid (which I'll probably go into detail another day).

My week back home ended with a visit to my Auntie. She texted me earlier that morning that if I had free time to stop by because she had something for me. I had no idea what to expect, but when I got there, I must say it was nice seeing family. She gave me a devotional journal, prayer card, and small vials of Rose oil, sat me down and basically said "the reason why I reached out was because I dreamt about you the other day and I rarely dream about family. And the dream was so dark and gloomy that I wondered why and felt like I should reach out". She told me about her struggles in life and how she trusted God and continues to learn and trust in Him. I told her how, even though the past year has been so difficult, it really brought me closer to God. Prior to going to their house, I was feeling really sad and anxious, but after leaving I felt so much better.

I made my way back up to Henrico, and man I missed Jaron a lot. Spending the past couple days with him has been really nice, and I've eaten generally well while being up here. Unfortunately it's hard for me to be by myself in the apartment all week and not feel super anxious, so I told him I wanted to stay back home for a bit, and of course, he understood. So I packed up some things and I'll be heading back down tomorrow morning.

This past week helped me see things in a new light, and how things will never go as planned, but everything definitely happens for a reason. My struggles are preparing me for the blessings to come and I'm going to be 100000x stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually after all of this is overcome.

Here's to more steps forward, no matter how small.